Bummer Alert!

It’s not often that I get depressed and emotional. But today is one of those days, where you wished you didn’t have to get out of bed. Where the tears in your eyes seem to continue spilling onto your cheeks no matter how you try to stop them. Now there are a few contributing factors to this mess I find myself in.

My daughter has been away for at least three weeks with her father on holiday. I have called virtually every day to speak to her. Yesterday I tried to call at least three times during te day, to which I had no response from her father, wait he did try to call once, from an unknown number, but I was unable to take the call and he dint leave a message. So yesterday evening I trid again and eventually got through, only for him to tell me that Dayna, my daughter, was sleeping. This upset me a little but I told him I’d call in the morning.

About fifteen minutes after this he calls me back to inform me that they have returned from their holiday. Well thank you very much. It would have been nice to know so that I could see my child. I then foolishly assumed that I would the have her for the whole weekend(it has been THREE weeks since I last saw her). Only to be informed that today they will be going to Warmbaths until tomorrow afternoon. REALLY? REALLY? Did you not actually think that I might want to spend some time with my child? After not seeing her for so long. You beep beep beep beep beeping BEEP!

I did see her this morning before I had to go to work and the lump is still in my throat. I really didn’t realize how much I missed her until I was able to hold her in my arms again. Ive alredy cried too many tears this morning.

Only a parent will know that their children hold their hearts in their hands. It is with this that they have the capacity to give you the most intensely joyful and the most bitterly sad moments in your life. They are what makes your world and they are the only ones that can truly break it.

It is impossible for me to comprehend how people willingly abandon their children.

My daughter is the light, the path, the guide, the shining star and love of my life.

 

Defining Insanity

I believe I have finally lost it.

Yes I have gone mad, bonkers, insane, cuckoo and crazy.

Why, you ask? Well to be dreadfully honest I am ashamed of myself. I truly committed a sin in the eyes of “Twenty Something Single Mums” the world over. This last weekend my lovely daughter was with her father, it was also the end of the month and there were two events that I had been invited to, the first, Kings of Leon(of which I had a FREE Ticket!) and then a night out, not only to watch the Currie Cup Final between the Lions and Sharks(an epic game apparently) but also have cocktails and party the night away with my friend the Minkster(and party the night away she did!).

How do you ask, does a woman decide? Well, if you happen to be me, you choose NEITHER. Yes, you heard me correctly, whilst everyone I know was living it up and having a jol, I had chosen to STUDY…..I feel sick just mentioning it.

My Saturday went something like this:

Working, Studying, Shopping, Short visit at a friend’s place, Washing, Studying, Cooking and Studying.

Before you think I have completely and utterly lost my marbles, I didn’t quite spend my entire Saturday evening studying. I did manage to watch “I am Legend” and “300″ and then prompted by plans for Sunday evening(which subsequently fell through), I spent some of that time painting my nails and straightening my hair.

Okay, you still think I’m nuts, I dont blame you, I really dont. But there is never just one reason for a persons seemingly demented behaviour and so I will say, begrudgedly, that one of the other reasons happened to be the fact that even though it is the end of the month, my budget tells me I’m in no shape to be living it up…..I feel sick again.

You see, October happened to be a very expensive month for me, and though I wont be going into details, there are some bills that are in dire need of paying this month…and we know how I feel about debt…absolutely paranoid…so yes, like a good little girl, I’ll be paying those debts(I quake in fear of having my name put onto the Credit Bureau).

I look back on this weekend, and honestly, for the first time in a long time, feel a slight pang of regret. But only slight you see, for some, if not most of the party animals of this weekend gone by, are still suffering from hangovers from the pits of hell(and I cruelly laugh at them!).

The Moral of this Story?

Never willingly stay at home at the end of the month(especially when free of all adult obligations)!

It sucks.

Balls.

Big Hairy Donkey Balls.

I Am Right You Are Wrong – the truth about candy and chocolate.

This morning I had to endure another conversation(to be put mildly) regarding sweets and tooth decay.

Being the paranoid person I am, before I jump into anything, I read and research as much as possible. This was so before, during and after my pregnancy and still to this day. I even own a copy of the Supernanny book – yes I do – dont mock me.

Some people go on what they have heard from others. While yes, advice from your peers is helpful, you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.

In this case: “Suckers, hard boiled, even soft candies and jannie verjaar colddrink(the red juice you mix with water) is better than chocolate”.

My stance is that chocolate is the lesser of two evils, but in a moment of doubt, I turned to my faithful friend, Google.

Firstly I searched “chocolate and tooth decay”, well the first few articles(be my guest and check for yourself) actually  state that chocolate can PREVENT tooth decay. My second search was “candy and tooth decay”, the articles I checked all said the same thing. Given the choice between a hardboiled/soft/sticky sweet and chocolate, opt for chocolate.

One of the main arguments is that chocolate dissolves quickly in the mouth where a hard candy is in the mouth for a prolonged time exposing teeth to sugar. Chocolate(C also apparently contans anti bacterial agents that slow the plaque forming process thus slowing decay and it is this property that offsets the high sugar content in chocolate. One article even suggested that certain agents in chocolate may actually be used in toothpaste one day(no more issues asking your children to brush their teeth!)

I am not advocating that we start shovelling our children with chocolate, as they say everything in moderation, but the next time you are choosing a treat for your children, choose chocolate.

ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO (Nevermind the fact that you will save on dental bills!)

The moral of this story is: Before you start arguing about something you think you know something about, do a little research instead of believing a mouthul of BS. This includes what I say.

    

Friendships

In the 28 years of my life on this earth one of the most complicated, gratifying and frustrating experiences I have had and continue to have is “FRIENDSHIP”.

For the most part of my life I have had friends come and go like autumn leaves blown about in the wind. Some have shown to be true, no matter how fleeting, others have been around but have and only will bring pain into your life. I also believe you pick your “friends” for certain periods of your life.

PS: As a near divorced single parent I surround myself with “certain” types of friends more than others not because they are more important but because I need to “grow”. Have a laugh as I try my best to explain my views on my friends, if I havent mentioned you dont take offence…and if I have mentioned you don’t take offence.

One: Happily Married Couples

I have just come out of a “failed” marriage, I cannot look at you and not look at my shortcomings. I need to feel good about myself, and thats not going to happen staring into your ”wedded bliss”.

Two: The Unhappily Married Couple

Been there done that…these friends I want to smack upside the head…get a divorce already…who are you trying to kid. I have been there, I know from “experience”. And if you give me the garbage that you are staying together for the kids…fyi…you are doing more damage to them staying in an unhappy marriage – yes you are – you are setting terrible example to them, you are “telling” them it is “okay” to be miserable. Well its not.

Three: The Lovebirds

The recently paired couple who cannot keep their hands off each other…yeah I am thrilled for you, I really am, honestly. Again, I dont want to see what I’m not getting. This is the cue for me to step to the side for a short while, at least until the initial heathsa simmered down.

Four: The “We’ve Been together Forever but havent married or had Kids”

Or as Id like to call it the K.I.S.S. couple – Keep It Simple Stupid. Yes this couple is quit content to enjoy each others company, the have very little hang ups and dont feel rushed into making any commitments. I rarely see this couple because thy are always up to something, skydiving, partying in Bali, clubbing, etc. I envy this couple. Others that have not done the marriage/kids thing will think they have commitment issues – Who the Hell Cares?

Five: Single Gal Pal

She has had relationships, she is pretty happy most of the time, never been married, never had kids. She focuses alot on her career. They really do know how to have fun but behind closed doors they let you now they are pining for ”the one” and want to settle. It is sometimes difficult to keep up with a friend like this,more often than not they are partying during the week til all hours of the morning, and as a parent tha aint happening.

Six: Single Guy Pal(Platonic)

Ths is the guy that’ll help me out with the blocked drain…reluctantly. He needs motivation to help you, which is usually a 6 pack of his favourite beer. Sometimes he is useful when you need to complain about your recent love interest although you never end up taking his advice, although you really should have in the end. This friend I dont see often, obviously he is out trying to get legover most of the time.

Lastly Ill mention the Single Parent friend, the ones with whom I have surrounded myself now.

They struggle to balance being single and a parent, they all have ominous exes, they try, and where other people have thier partners to talk to, or their single mates to talk to, the single parent can only really get another single parent. I guess why I love my single parent mates is that they “get me”. They get the oddball behaviour, the crazy ideas, and the hardships that I have to deal with. They are the ones that turn round and say:

“You are crazy and confused and dont know whats going on, but I care, Im here for you, cause I was there and still am, I may not get you, but I GET IT”.

You all mean a hell of alot to me, you all are a part of my life, maybe I dont see you all the time, maybe I have only met you once, maybe Ive known you my whole life, we may just be buddies on Facebook. Each of you brings something special into my life. As I hope I do yours…yeah Im going through “something” right now and I might be for sometime, I only hope that I can be as great a friend to you that you have been to me(and by you I mean all of you…each and everyone of you!)

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