Rocketeering, Gangsta’s, and a Birthday…

So…I didn’t end up at the coast. After an emotional evening it was decided I would remain in Jozi…Woohoo!

It been a pretty eventful time since deciding to stay up here and all of it good…no…awesome.

Friday the 16th was my sisters birthday, so we had a good old fashioned piss up…you know…the one where you start dancing and singing along to Bon Jovi…there was also a little bit of karaoke but I do believe that I broke the machine or a few eardrums…I can’t be too sure which. It was a great time, a bit wild, but with a few Scots in the mix, it always tends to get a little bit crazy.I was also almost involved in a cage fight with my god brother…but I decided to save him the embarassment of having his ass kicked by a girl.

Saturday I was invited to witness Schalk and Jaco’s Rocketeering(to catch up on previous episodes you can check it out @    http://www.youtube.com/user/Groendakkies).

Put simply, they cook homemade rocket fuel, drink alot and then attempt to launch, up to this point the rocket has had performance problems, but really, the making of it is hysterical. And live it is so much better.

I think it has already been established that The Wild West has no brakes. And as always, this time was no different. A game of Kings got us nicely stukkend, especially when the ‘strafdop’ (penalty drink) is a mix of Sambuca and Tequila Jack. There were also other shooters but they were avoided like the plague(by me at least). The rest of the evening was mostly talking(of which I was mostly to blame…apparently I can talk ALOT).

Which reminds me of a famous quote…Silence is Golden, Duct tape is Silver…and I am sure that Jaco, Schalk and Marius would have loved to have used some duct tape to shut me up that night.

The next morning we were rudely awakened by the fact that Silent Bob’s wallet was missing. After an endless search for said wallet,i was eventuall recovered and Bob could smile again. Jaco prepped the rockets while his super enthusiastic partner, Schalk, did as little as possible….his ass was glued to the La Z Boy the entire morning. I found it difficult to get up myself. In fact it was difficult to do anything from lying still, sitting still, talking, not talking, eating, not eating…everything I did was a sad attempt…

After preparations we could leave and shoot some rockets. Let me tell you, you get some really weird and concerned looks from people when driving by with a rocket in your hand(can anyone say Terrorist much?). We went to a remote area give or take 10km from Roodepoort…but more on the give side…and boy was it a scorcher…why we actully needed to ingite the rockets is beyond me, that’s how hot it was.

Rocket number One was an explosive, and we were pretty lucky not to be hit by shrapnel(the closest piece must’ve been around 2m from where we were standing). The next rocket the men were able to “launch” 3 times. Once there was a little airtime for the rocket, the other two launches were more about making a “big boom”. I must say there is alot of fun in the ‘uncertainty’ of shooting homemade rockets. You feel young and somewhat reckless and obviously there is an element of danger. But please kids…do not try this at home…

Better luck next time boys.

As tired as I was I did not get lost whatsoever coming back from Roodepoort. So all in all a weekend without getting lost…HUGE SUCCESS!

Is it too gushy to say tha I’m loving life at the moment?

Well I am.

Brakes…Where we’re going…We don’t need Brakes!

I’ve decided that weekends are way too short. There is only so much that can be done and two days and two nights are never enough.

I had a fantastic time doing my laundry on Friday night…yes I did my laundry…on a Friday night. And then I put myself through the agony of watching a dreadful movie on E tv called “Prey” which is about some silly Americans being attacked by homicidal lions. Needless to say, the lions did a killer acting job…not that I know how it ended…I fell asleep on the couch it was that riveting.

I was up fresh and early on Saturday morning and I hit the shopping malls before they became suffocatingly full with Christmas shoppers. If there is one thing I do not like(in fact despise it), are queues. It seems when people are queing they forget all about personal space and boundaries, so much so that you can feel their breath on your neck as you are waiting your turn. I feel claustrophobic in these circumstances. I was relieved to be done with all the shopping before this happened. The perks of being up before 7am on a Saturday morning.

That evening it was off to The Wild West again. It is with confidence that I can say that I can make my way to Roodepoort with no problem whatsoever anymore(I cant say the same about coming back though) . I had to stop at the local mall to get my drinks for the evening. I was pretty dissapointed in the variety of soda’s they had to offer(which was next to nothing), I was looking for Sprite, where the Checkers did not even have a buddy bottle. I came right at the bottle store, although I had to buy two 1 litre bottles as opposed to one 2 litre bottle.

The evenings dinner was pizza…simple but effective. And for the evening’s entertainment we were to watch some Jimmy Carr, not the live South African show, but from the comfort of La Z Boy couches.

I must mention that as comfy La Z Boys are there is a slight degree of difficulty when trying to do certain things…stop right there with your dirty minds…have you ever tried to drink while lying down on a La Z boy with your feet up? And then there is the cuddle problem, which is almost impossible due to the fact that as soon as your weight is not evenly distributed on said couch, ,it retracts back into the seated position. Overall though, comfort far outweighs anything else….my overall rating is an 8 out of 10.

A big thank you to Jaco for always being the gracious host. I did not have to pour one of my own drinks. Granted I had to keep up which meant downing quite a few of those glasses of vodka…but it’s the thought that counts.

I’d love to fill you in on the gory details of the rest of the evening but things are a “little hazy”. I can tell you that I didn’t get away from the evening unscathed. I am now the proud owner of not one, but two Hickeys. Which is all well and good unless you have to see your mother and your ex the same day.

I’ve given up tring to sleep in over the weekends, those elusive extra hours of sleep I will never get again…the struggle is over, RPS(Restless Parent Syndrome) has won.

I spent the morning watching Transformers with one awesome litte guy, playing with cars and then discussing the greatness of Ben Ten.

True to form when in the West, I got lost, again. Thankfully it wasn’t a major detour, I simply missed a turn off, so I was able to get back on track easily enough. But it sucks greatly nonetheless. Got back to Boksburg, and went to lunch with my mother and two sisters where we devoured copious amounts of seafood.

All in all a very good weekend…

PS: Anyone got tips on covering up a hickey?

East Meets West

Yes, this goose from Benoni(East Rand) donned her cowboy boots and dared to live on the wild side and travelled to none other than the city of Roodepoort(West Rand).

Where do I even begin telling you the tale…well let me begin by saying that I have only had my licence(to drive that is) for a little over a year, and while I believe I am quite the capable driver, I have had others strongly disagree. The point being the furthest I have ever travelled by myself has been to another Eastern town, Springs(yes, I do have stories about Springs but those are for another day).

So I packed my things, and yes I remembered the all important passport/visa/ and id documentation for the trip, got my gps ready(would you call a google maps printout gps?) and set off on my long and arduous journey.

Here I would like to say that for all the trouble and pain and stress the roadworks have caused us, the benefits are noteworthy. I am proud to say that I did not once take the wrong interchange, turn off or highway, and as nervewrecking as an hour drive can be to a novice driver, I found the drive pretty pleasant(I’m sure it had nothing to do with the glass of wine I had before leaving).

Once I left the highway I proceeeded to get lost in Roodepoort, thank the lord for Blackberry and their gps or I sincerely believe I still would have been *lost* there.

I arrived safely at my destination only to have to wait before being granted entry by my host, which apparently had something to do with bearded dragons, loud music and a stiff First Watch(that particularly nasty brand of whiskey).

I realized I was in trouble when the welcome and hello drink happened to be a shot of Lupini Sambuca(the last time I touched lupini was 12 years ago and it ended badly). But being the sport I am, I did as the “roodies” do and drank it with a smile(or was it actually a grimace?).

Due to the sambuca the rest of the evenings events go something like this:

Dinner, wine, talk, hide and seek, ufc, four rooms, books, wine, sambuca, music, more wine, jim jefferies, more sambuca, blur, tow trucks, amarula, pellet guns, even more wine, dane cook, blur, more sambuca, billy connolly, and who knows what else….

Overall a very good evening with alot of laughter and yes, ALOT of drinking.

But no one said the Wild West would be safe…and every journey leaves its marks.