Things I Cannot Live Without: Music

I have vivid memories of a long gone era, when I was young and my parents were still married. When evenings were filled with music and dancing.

Some of the most special are of my father singing “Blueberry Hill” by Fats Domino or him crooning to “November Rain” by Guns and Roses. It was no surprise that most of these moments were when he was tipsy, sometimes not. He was a conservative man but through music he awakened. These were the times when he most displayed his affection, either with my mother, myself and my siblings and his extended family.

I remember going to a music festival with him when I was seventeen. Nevermind Oppi Koppi or Splashy Fen, I went to KKNK( the Klein Karoo Nationale Kunstefees – an arts festival in Oudtshoorn). Afternoons consisted of drinking cheap bottles of wine and listening to musicians, young, old, Afrikaans and English. I had to live in a tent for a week nd had to deal with my father trying to bum cigarettes off me as he had recently found out that I was a smoker. He had quit for two years, but that didnt deter him from asking. Being the good daughter I refused him a ciggy everytime.

Although I thought the trip might be boring…afterall I was 17 and a typical rebellious party animal daughter…I took the portunity to spend the little time I could with my dad as my parents were divorced and we didnt spend a lot of quality time with him back then.

Well, it is one I will never forget. Instead of watching me like a hawk he let me do pretty much what I wanted to. If I didnt want to spend tme with him I could walk through the small town of Oudtshoorn dropping in on little art shows and comedians, looking through flea markets and meeting some interesting people.

I remember sunshine and music. Blackie Swart singing “Luwe Lulu” and heaing some David Kramer and Koos Kombuis. I could barely speak Afrikaans back then, hell I stil do a shitty job of it, but it wasnt so much undersanding what they were singing about because it was about feeling.

And music is about feeling.

Music is about laughing and crying, about lifting the spirits or sometimes fueling your anger. The strumming of a guitar and the beat of a drum. A voice singing a tune, someone singing along, the clapping of hands and the movement of feet to tunes.

I remember my darkest moments, lying alone in my bed, the tears streaming like a flood; to the sounds of Pink, or Guns and Roses, or Matchbox 20 or Sara Barielles or Live. Has your heart ever been in so much anguish that you cannot breathe, your chest is caving in and in those moments you are so completely overcome with grief you feel you will die?

Have you ever been at a concert and they play your favourite song. Thousands of people dancing and singing to the same lyrics. Almost as if you are in trance. A feeling of complete elation and bliss that cannot be substitute?

It is true that I love the mountains, but second to the mountains is music. I cannot go long in this “Babylon” without it.

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We are Young -Fun feat. Janelle Monae

Give me a second I,
I need to get my story straight
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
My lover she’s waiting for me just across the bar
My seat’s been taken by some sunglasses asking bout a scar, and
I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you’re trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies, you know
I’m trying hard to take it back
So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Now I know that I’m not
All that you got
I guess that I, I just thought
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let’s raise a cup
‘Cause I found someone to carry me home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Just carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Just carry me home tonight (Nananananana)

The moon is on my side
I have no reason to run
So will someone come and carry me home tonight
The angels never arrived
But I can hear the choir
So will someone come and carry me home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home tonight

Beware…Ginga’s and Ninja’s Ahead!

As much as I’d like to High Five my liver for yet another awesome weekend, it has gone on strike. In fact it’s not talking to me anymore and not taking my calls. I don’t know whether it has just decided to ignore me or if it has actually run away and found residence in a tee totaler. I wouldn’t be surprised. In fact I’m about to run away from me.

Friday evening was a fairly quiet one, if you consider having your new boss over, who the makes the meanest curry you have ever tasted, I literally ate myself into oblivion. It was not a pretty sight.

Mostof Saturday mornnig was spent lazing about, spending some quality tme with my daughter and mother. That evening was when all the craziness started. What do you expect when it is a Ginger Scotsman’s birthday?

Well, contrary to popular belief, Ginger’s do have friends and a hooligan bunch at that. Most I had met before, as it was a birthday there were copiuos amount of alcohol, in fact perhaps a little too much…no not really…because there is never enough alcohol is there? Again my liver would protest to that especially when it comes to the chocolate tequila. Or the Poncho’s, or the Archers, or the Jagermeister.

And when it comes to chocolate tequila you had better watch out. It tastes so great that you cant help but have another and another and another….and the next thing you know you end up talking about evolution and God and politics and all sorts of other things that are perhaps better left said when you sober.

A few of my friends I havent seen in a while and were quite shocked that I had put my boxing gloves up and was no longer beating people up in my spare time. Well this led to an awkward situation where I had to show a couple of men my triangle choking skills…well it didn’t fair too well.

Let me make it clear that I was not out to hurt anyone and I only tried this on willing participants. I also made sure to explain that if at any time they felt they wanted to get out of it to just ”Tap Out”.

I will also mention this is a very bad idea when too many shots have been going around.

The first man for a spin was a personal trainer friend of mine.  I did the lock and as everyone watched I applied some pressure. Well, instead of tpping me on the arm, he attempted to tap me on my leg, instead of my arm, which I was completely oblivious to. So it was up to the spectators to jump in and let me know the guy wanted out. Well it was close as he almost passed out.

The other spectators were all wary of me now and chose not to volunteer, except for Wes, who bravely came forward as the next victim. Well Wes took it very well, so well in fact that the passed out, and no he did not tap out, not even when everyone watching cried for himo do so. I had a snooze for a couple of seconds before he “woke up” again. Needless to say I chose not to choke anyone else that evening.

Ther was a woman there with the most awesome tattoo’s…which has me itching for another…so watch this space!

There was a casualty as well, when one of the ladiestried to help one of he guys from falling over, where she ended up falling and cutting her chin open. It was off to the hospital and five stitches later she came back a little high from the anaestethic they gave her.

Other that that here was lots of dancing,great music, a smoke machine, disco lights, shooting some pool and lots of talk…an awesome party all in all…even for a Ginger called Duff ;).

All I can say is that I am slightly relieved the weekend is over so that my poor liver can recover, but then I realize that tomorrow evening is the Love Sucks event. and then I think about the comng weekend…and I realize that my liver hasevery excuse to go AWOL.

Bob The Legend

My dear friend Minx(www.minkipraat.wordpress.com) inspired me to write about the late great Bob Marley.

I don’t profess to know much about him and I don’t have much, if any of his music. I heard that he had over a hundred different species of lice in is dreads when he died(I dont know whether this is true or not). I heard that he was a freedom fighter of sorts. And I know he had children.

What I do know is this. Every time I hear his music I relax a little bit. For a moment I am at ease, transported to my happy place. He was an inspiration to many people, his music is Legend, he is Legend. Strangely enough one of my favourite descriptions of this man comes from one of my favourite movies, I AM LEGEND. Starring Will Smith as a man alone in Manhattan, looking for a cure for the virus that has caused the human population to turn into zombies. His only companion a dog called Sam.

For me the most unforgettable scene in the entire movie is the Bathtub scene, where late at night, Neville(Will Smith) and his Dog Sam are lying in the bathtub, in darkness, and as the screams and yells from the creatures outside their home reach them, Neville sings Bob Marley’s words:

 Singin’: “Don’t worry ’bout a thing,

‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.”

Singin’: “Don’t worry (don’t worry) ’bout a thing,

‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!”

The words come from the song “Three Little Birds”.

I’m not ashamed to say that I cried at this point in the movie, like a little baby. But I think we can all relate. Man is not destined to be alone in this world, we need human interaction. We need the comeraderie, the banter and the joys, the love and all the other things that make us human, that give us a reason to live for.

When Neville explained to Anna who Bob Marley was:

He had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate… literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people’s lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why – He said, “The people, who were trying to make this world worse… are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness.”

In a small way, all of us need to light up the darkness. We can all contribute to making this a better world to live in.

We can all give our light to those around us.

The man, the legend, Bob Marley, will never die, his music lives, the spirit of his words lives within all of us.

“One love, one heart, one destiny.”

Bob Marley

06.02.1945 – 11.05.1981

“His voice was an omnipresent cry in our electronic world. His sharp features, majestic looks, and prancing style a vivid etching on the landscape of our minds. Bob Marley was never seen. He was an experience which left an indelible imprint with each encounter. Such a man cannot be erased from the mind. He is part of the collective consciousness of the nation”.

P.S. I now finally know what 4:20 means ;)

 

 

 

 

Sweet Surrender – John Denver

Lost and alone on some forgotten highway

Traveled by many, remembered by few

Lookin’ for something that I can believe in

Lookin’ for something that I’d like to do with my life
There’s nothin’ behind me and nothin’ that ties me

To somethin’ that might have been true yesterday

Tomorrow is open; right now it seems to be more

Than enough to just be here today
And I don’t know what the future is holdin’ in store

I don’t know where I’m goin’, I’m not sure where I’ve been

There’s a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me

My life is worth the livin’, I don’t need to see the end

Sweet, sweet surrender Live, live without care Like a fish in the water Like a bird in the air
Sweet, sweet surrender Live, live without care Like a fish in the water Like a bird in the air

 

H2O Fever

With the news that the following H2o(only one of the biggest outdoor day raves in the world www.h2oparty.com) will be held on the 31st of March 2012 and the outstanding artist Avicii, who brought us the sick song “Levels” is set to take the stage…I find myself between a rock and a hard place.

I am a newbie to the H2O party scene but I must say, after my first one last year October I am hooked worse than a meth junkie.

That day not too long ago I was in my happy place, a day after my divorce, with friends that I cherish, having the time of my life. I remember standing there thinking things could not actually get better than that. But they did and they didn’t.

Perhaps that is why I so eagerly want to go back there, to feel the love, the promise of new things, the sun on my face, the promise of better things to come. The overall sense of wellbeing, knowing what path I was on and whom I wanted to share it with. The people that were there for me, who made it the experience I now so sorely miss.

I am sorely disappointed though that due to a lack of interest from those around me it may mean that I have to wait until October.

THIS SUCKS BALLS…yes I said it, it sucks balls.

Otherwise, I wish you all a freaking fantastic weekend.

Goosey ;)

Happy New Year!

I’d like to say I’ve been too terribly busy to write a new years post…but it’s more like it has taken me 4 days to recover from the New Years Party. Not that there were loads of people, it was actually just a small crowd, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t rip the ring out of it.

The party was hosted at Minki’s house and began with a”tame” game of 30 seconds…well not really…we had to add a drinking rule and that we did. There were alot of good laughs with the men pitted against the women. At one stage us girls “threw” a couple of rounds just so that we could drink a little more. As for who won? Well the women of course. Not to say that the men didn’t make a valiant effort.

There was drinking,laughter, dancing, a fire that kicked ass until the heavens decided to open and a frank kitchen discussion that had the Minkster(www.minkipraat.wordpress.com) blushing. As the clock struck we all had sparklers thanks to Minks…a cute little touch that was pretty awesome…although I was unable to light mine(I’m blaming the alcohol here). There was an escapade in a car that has left my shoulder a little bruised and a game of Kings that left a table cloth stained with wine.

I fiercely maintain that the bigger the hangover is…the better the party…well this one was huge, all of us suffered on the first day of the year. It was really and truly awesome to lie in the sun and bake, heads pounding, having the occasional dip in the pool and then later to chill and watch the sometimes if not gross antics of “Kenny vs Spenny”(although that didnt help any of our stomachs much when it came to the humiliations).

Regardless of how you bought in the New Year I do hope it was a happy one. If you’ve made resolutions I hope you can stick to them, and even if you don’t, it’s never too late to change no matter what day of the year. Take each day as it comes, some may be spectacularly great and some may be spectacularly bad. There will be changes and some things will remain the same.

If anything this year, resolve to live each day as if it were your last. Get things done, smile, cry, do what needs to be done. Help a friend, ask for help. Take chances, start a retirement fund, skydive, get married, get divorced…dance until your feet are broken, laugh until you cannot speak, open up to the experiences this year has for you.

Happy New Year!

 

WTF…What a Weekend!

So the weekend has come and gone, it is already Wednesday and I haven’t yet posted a word.

The reason behind this simple. I really and truly have not been able to find the time to even look at the laptop these last few days and honestly, now I should be catching up a pile of work instead of writing. But here I am, so let us get this over and done with.

FRIDAY NIGHT/EAST MEETS WEST PART 2

Friday evening after work I prepared for another trip to the west, to visit my boyfriend, Jaco. This time I asked him for directions, in the hopes of not getting lost. But it seems directions and myself will never quite get along, that or the weather, because the heavens decided to open up and I had to drive in a torrential downpour. I took a turn too early and found myself lost once again. Thankfully, it happened to be in the same place I was lost before so I miraculously managed to find myself at the correct complex. I was also very happy with the timing I made, despite getting lost I managed to be there in under an hour.

I was treated to an awesome dinner including steak, roast mushrooms, salad and rice(everything was well done although the rice could’ve faired better). My after dinner treat, was not dessert, and when I think of it now, it makes my stomach turn, was a youtube clip of a cyst being lanced. Ladies and gentlemen, it seems I have a strong stomach for the vile and disgusting.

The evening went very well despite the slight lack of memory I had for a short period of the evening(we won’t mention the bottle of Lavoka, the bit of Sambuca and the bottle of Wine that were consumed by only the two uf us). Hey,  I was even treated to a vegetarian omelette the next day(I really wish I could’ve eaten more than I had, but my stomach was in no mood).

One note on hangovers: if you’re head is pounding, take a couple of “Anadin 500″, you’ll be up and at it in no time.

SATURDAY/MINKI’S 30th 80′s BIRTHDAY PARTY

How it pained me to keep a secret from her, I had to. There is nothing better than a surprise birthday party. It was 80′s themed and I appropriately dressed like an 80′s hooker. Minki I so loved your pink nails(evil grin).

Other than a bit of drama(insert handbrake here) everyone came out alive, some with a few scratches, others with severe babalaas, and some a bit more and even fewer a bit less. And if you had to view the success of a party by the amount of alcohol consumed, well then this one would be up there with the best.

I do take my hat of to Allison Montgomery Maaske for everything she pulled off, the party and decorations were fantastic, the music also appropriately themed, an awesome sister to have, the Montgomeries really did pull it off. Minkster, you better be proud!

A trip to Nicci Beach followed, in fact a couple, can you say lost in plantation(including a near bundu bash in a polo)? There was much dancing to be done and you know its a good one when they kick you out. Also worth mentioning was a man that gave me R100 for he boyfriend I had( can anyone say weirdo?)

The only one left standing, no dancing, well into the Sunday morning was no other than Allison “Party Animal” Monteomery. What the rest f us did on hitting the couches? PASS OUT!

SUNDAY/THE HANGOVER

As a parent it never ceases to amaze me, that on my weekends off I will wake up with barely two hours sleep behind me. In fact, I think this is in fact a curse among all us parents, as we were all up and about my 9am.

Let’s just say that the word Hangover does not cut it.

I cannot remember when last I have felt so exhausted and bilious in my entire life. My cousin used to refer to a hangover like a sadistic man with a very large sledgehammer, one that wouldn’t stop pounding at your head. That is probably the closest I am able to define it. With every step I took, even when I slept, the pounding never quite went away that day.

That afternoon, when I collected my daughter, disaster struck.

She started bleeding from her mouth, and after her tonsillectomy last week, this was not a good sign. We took her to the hospital where it took three quarters of an hour to get admitted to the casualty/emergency ward(really, with a three year old in your arms, blood coming from her mouth and you still made us wait that long?) Once we were admitted and waiting for a doctor to grace us with their presence, Dayna vomited buckets of blood all over my ex. Promise me it looked like something from a horror movie. Well yes I lost it then, I went ballistic, I cried, I panicked, it was the worst moment of my life.

Turns out blood clots had formed on the operation site and these clots had dislodged and collected in her stomach. We werent aware of it as there were no outward signs of this. It was a close call for a blood transfusion and a few days worth in a hospital. Nothing quite makes you feel as horrid as seeing your child lie helpless in a hospital bed and there is nothing you can do.

Yesterday morning she was given the all clear and ready to go home. I was also immensely relieved to see my own home, my own bed and especially my daughter in high spirits.

What a long, crazy weekend.

Music Is The Answer

I admit it, I was a little stuck this morning about what I would write about, you see,it was another good weekend, and yes I can mention all those that made it great, but you know who you are. And then I realized, there is something I have not written about, but which is perhaps even a larger part of my life than my family and friends. And its a part of all of our lives.

Music.

Most if us know the power of music, it can move us to tears, it can fuel our anger, unite a nation as well as divide.

I’ve always enjoyed music, but in my darkest days a part of me did not want to listen, did not want to get in touch with that ”animal” part of me(Why I say “animal” is because for me music is not intellectual, it has very little to do with the thought process, if at all, music is emotional and instinctual).I hid away from from my feelings then, knowing what I would have to face.

It took someone I had never met to open my eyes, to re-introduce me to music. I compiled a playlist of songs that I felt corrosponded with who I was at the time, and at that time I pretty depressed so a major artist on my playlist happened to be James Blunt:

“Mine is not a heart of  stone…I am only skin and bone  now…Those little pieces are  little pieces of my own”

I know, had it not been for James and company I still would have been stuck in my previous life. It was through music that I identified with m motions. And as the days and months have worn on, my tastes have morphed. Right after moving into my flat and alone for the first time, ACDC got me out of bed every morning:

“Cos I’m T.N.T. ….I’m Dynamite ….T.N.T. …And I’ll win the fight…T.N.T. …I’m a power-load …T.N.T. …Watch me Explode”.

Where I was alone, and my friends werent around, it was music that got me through. I was able to tell how I was feeling by the songs I chose to listen to, and by realizing this I was able to move through to where I needed to be.

“I’ll never find my heart…Behind someone else…I’ll never see the light of day…Living in this cell…It’s time to make my way…Into the world I knew …Take back all of these times …That I gave in to you”
3 Doors Down

I firmly believe that there are lyrics out there that will mirror your exact feelings at a particular time. And when no one is around to listen, or you dont have the strength to talk, listen to the radio, your favourite song, discover a new band, open yourself up. From there you can work on your life.

That brings me to the song I want to share today. Where we all search for friendship, family, love and understanding, how often do we acknowledge wht we already have right in front of us.

I know its cheesy…but I am blessed…and I always was…I just had to open my eyes….and see the family, the friends, and the love all around me.

Staring Down

Collective Soul

Loosened from my pride
Oh that monster kept me so tight
Threw my aces down
just to face the here and the now

So here I’ll go again
I want to please
Here I’ll go again
Sweet I’ll sleep
Sleep till I dream

I’ve been looking
I’ve been staring down
I’ve been searching
I’ve been staring down
And your love is what I found

As cautious as a thief
Oh but restless in all of my needs
Now I stand before all I wanted

And all that I’ve adored

So here I go again
I need to please
Yeah here I go again
Sweet you sleep
Sleep till I dream

I’ve been looking
I’ve been staring down
I’ve been searching
I’ve been staring down
And your love is what I…

Long days, long nights
Just blinded by what was already in sight
Now I’ve found, I’ve found my way home
Yeah I found my way home

I’ve been looking
I’ve been staring down
I’ve been searching
I’ve been staring down

I’ve been looking
I’ve been staring down
I’ve been searching
I’ve been staring down
And your love is what I found

Iridescent – Linkin Park

When you were standing in the wake of
devastation
when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
with the
cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now
you were there and
possibly alone.

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up
all the failiures all you’ve known
remember all the sadness and
frustration
and let it go, let it go.

And in the burst of light that
blinded every angel
as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
you
felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space
no one there to
catch you in there arms

Do you feel cold and lost in
desperation
you build up all the failures all you’ve known
remember all
the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up all the
failiures all you’ve known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and
let it go,

let it go
let it go
let it go
let it go

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up
all the failiures all you’ve known
remember all the sadness and
frustration
and let it go, let it go

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