As a divorced woman I have been asked more than once if I would get married again.
The answer is a resounding YES.
This is met with slightly confused facial expressions and questions of how I could ever get married again if the first didn’t work.
I believe in love and I believe in committing yourself to one another in a ceremony of sorts. It is a celebration of each others love for one another and a way to say that you only want to be with that person. It is also nice to dress up and feel particularly beautiful for one day…a day where you and your partner are the main attraction.
I do not however think that marriage should be a binding contract. Whoever came up with the idea that legal documentation should be drawn up to solidify a marriage was out to make money. And regarding finances, well that is a matter between the couple to discuss. As far as I am concerned I will never enter into an agreement that forces us to share or argue over possessions. You do what you will with your money, I will do with mine and we will both equally contribute to shared expenses. A person does need to keep their independence from their partner.
Both financially and spiritually.
We are all very unique individuals and we all make different amounts of money. As we need to respect each others need to explore our own interests and hobbies, without the detriment of the other partner, in so doing we should also be able to finance ourselves in the endeavour.
I gave up my freedom and independence both financially and spiritually in my first marriage, which was ultimately the largest contributing factor in why we got divorced in the first place. Had I retained my independence I would’ve had the freedom to explore the things that I found of interest.
That is something I am not about to give up again.
In many ways this has made me quite selfish. I have had a lot of catching up to do.
In so doing I have realized that sometimes you will not only love one person forever. That love sometimes is not enough. People change and if we aren’t willing to compromise/ourselves then we should be given the opportunity to move on, find our happiness with someone that better suites our needs and lifestyles. After all, if we find ourselves unhappy there is no way that our partner can be happy.
I already know that the next person I marry had better have the same passion I have for my mountains because that is where I will choose to spend my spare time. Also, if I am to exchange vows again, it will be on top of a mountain, and we will camp, and we will go a few days without bathing. That narrows it down doesn’t it?
I may also get divorced again.
But that is the way the cookie crumbles.
Nothing is fixed in life, especially when it comes to our emotions.
Hell…if I marry another five times then that is what happens.
The beauty of life is that we have the option to live it to the full. To experience true happiness regardless of the paradigms we have built around us.