Defining Insanity

I believe I have finally lost it.

Yes I have gone mad, bonkers, insane, cuckoo and crazy.

Why, you ask? Well to be dreadfully honest I am ashamed of myself. I truly committed a sin in the eyes of “Twenty Something Single Mums” the world over. This last weekend my lovely daughter was with her father, it was also the end of the month and there were two events that I had been invited to, the first, Kings of Leon(of which I had a FREE Ticket!) and then a night out, not only to watch the Currie Cup Final between the Lions and Sharks(an epic game apparently) but also have cocktails and party the night away with my friend the Minkster(and party the night away she did!).

How do you ask, does a woman decide? Well, if you happen to be me, you choose NEITHER. Yes, you heard me correctly, whilst everyone I know was living it up and having a jol, I had chosen to STUDY…..I feel sick just mentioning it.

My Saturday went something like this:

Working, Studying, Shopping, Short visit at a friend’s place, Washing, Studying, Cooking and Studying.

Before you think I have completely and utterly lost my marbles, I didn’t quite spend my entire Saturday evening studying. I did manage to watch “I am Legend” and “300″ and then prompted by plans for Sunday evening(which subsequently fell through), I spent some of that time painting my nails and straightening my hair.

Okay, you still think I’m nuts, I dont blame you, I really dont. But there is never just one reason for a persons seemingly demented behaviour and so I will say, begrudgedly, that one of the other reasons happened to be the fact that even though it is the end of the month, my budget tells me I’m in no shape to be living it up…..I feel sick again.

You see, October happened to be a very expensive month for me, and though I wont be going into details, there are some bills that are in dire need of paying this month…and we know how I feel about debt…absolutely paranoid…so yes, like a good little girl, I’ll be paying those debts(I quake in fear of having my name put onto the Credit Bureau).

I look back on this weekend, and honestly, for the first time in a long time, feel a slight pang of regret. But only slight you see, for some, if not most of the party animals of this weekend gone by, are still suffering from hangovers from the pits of hell(and I cruelly laugh at them!).

The Moral of this Story?

Never willingly stay at home at the end of the month(especially when free of all adult obligations)!

It sucks.

Balls.

Big Hairy Donkey Balls.

The Strobe Effect

Let it be known that if you are planning a relaxed weekend, it would be advisable to avoid two things:

Alcohol and Strobe Lights:

Friday evening I chose to spend with my mom and sister,all went well at first until we decided to watch some stand up comedy, and we know laughing your ass of is thirsy work(refer to Jeff Dunham, Dane Cook, Jim Jefferies and Billy Connelly). My sister and I then decided to go visit two Scots and an Irish.

Duffs house, or should I say Duffs Bar is pretty much a party haven, what is required for a party?, Well, a pool table, a kickass bar, some turntables and good company.

Duff(Stephen Duff that is) is a large ginger who tried his best to almost convince me to go to Deadmau5 in December, apologies, but I have my daughters preschool concert that day. Then there is Andy, well there are quite a few ways to describe Andy but I think the Jester is most apt. He is truly a laugh a minute person with jokes streaming from his mouth faster than you can say scotsman.  Below an example of the Jesters humour:

“I HATE BEING BI-POLAR…. It’S FUCKING AWESOME!!!”

And then there is the Irish, Emma dearest, who is a killer on the pool table, please dont test her, I have seen her kick the asses off some seasoned players. Obviously we played a round, but by one in the morning, there was no hope of me sinking all the balls before her. Another thing about an Irish: you can never dismiss their sage advice, even when they are telling you to down that horrid shot or have another drink(when you know you cannot anymore), it all sounds very reasonable coming from their silver tongues.

And Schani dearest, the car keys and blackberries need to be confiscated the next ime we decide to have a “chilled” evening.

Come Saturday I was a walking zombie, this was exasterbated by the fact that I had to work…yes…work. It was a nasty experience as I tried to keep my eyes open long enough to deal with people. I passed the time by stumbling(www.stumpleupon.com) and reading Spud.

I was keen on going home, doing my laundry and then hitting the sack, but alas it was not meant to be and I was summoned to Boksburg for another “chilled” evening at Bok and Smicks humble abode.

Well, you know it is not going to be a quiet evening when you are handed a mojito as a starter drink. The evening slowly went “downhill” from there with us crashing a private function and being asked to leave my a not so friendly “I think Im a badass bouncer” type. We were quite horrified by this treatment, how on earth were we to know that there was a private function? (On leaving we happened to see a few signs mentioning the venue was closed, but by my opinion they were by far not conspicuous enough!)

We stopped at another bar where, even though there was a private function(again) going on, we were able to watch the rugby in relative peace. Unfortunately the Lions had their asses handed them( I am a fervent Bulls supporter) and after a few caramel vodkas(thats when you know there is going to be trouble) we headed back to Bok and Smicks.

Somehow during this time a few people caught wind of the chilled evening we had planned, one of whom was Allison, who, like the rest of us was clearly distraught by the fact that David Guetta was in town, and, as the rest of us, didnt have tickets for the sold out show.  Allisons only request that if she were to grace us with her presence, was that we have some music to dance to. Well….

..Smick bought out the big guns…not only did we have surround sound…but a Strobe Light!

Setup in the living room with music ranging from Rock, House, and even Dubstep, what started as an innocent evening turned out to be a killer house party! We danced and drank and laughed and really did have an awesome time. And once I was unable to dance or even think or talk properly, Bok and Smick graciously took me to bed, Bok gave me a monster size glass of water for the thirsties and Smick gave a tuck in to kill for.

Sunday morning and us ladies were in for the royal treatment, where Mynies actually made coffee and Smick made an awesome breakfast. And just when I thought it was safe to leave…I was handed a Savanna(and who in their right mind says no to a Savanna on a hot Sunday morning?)

And so a chilled summers day was spent in the garden talking about life, love and happiness.

PS: Aside from blackberries being confiscated and then going flat due to lack of chargers it was great knowing that we could keep in touch with those we care about(even if the conversations had made no sense at all due to the consumption of far too many).

PSS: Stroe lights, bars, pool tables, and mojitos are bad news and it is my duty to warn you that you are in for a killer evening with any of the combinations, but most definitely the STROBE, so, if you are looking for an early evening be warned, if you see a Strobe Light, turn around and run away….fast!