Beware…Ginga’s and Ninja’s Ahead!

As much as I’d like to High Five my liver for yet another awesome weekend, it has gone on strike. In fact it’s not talking to me anymore and not taking my calls. I don’t know whether it has just decided to ignore me or if it has actually run away and found residence in a tee totaler. I wouldn’t be surprised. In fact I’m about to run away from me.

Friday evening was a fairly quiet one, if you consider having your new boss over, who the makes the meanest curry you have ever tasted, I literally ate myself into oblivion. It was not a pretty sight.

Mostof Saturday mornnig was spent lazing about, spending some quality tme with my daughter and mother. That evening was when all the craziness started. What do you expect when it is a Ginger Scotsman’s birthday?

Well, contrary to popular belief, Ginger’s do have friends and a hooligan bunch at that. Most I had met before, as it was a birthday there were copiuos amount of alcohol, in fact perhaps a little too much…no not really…because there is never enough alcohol is there? Again my liver would protest to that especially when it comes to the chocolate tequila. Or the Poncho’s, or the Archers, or the Jagermeister.

And when it comes to chocolate tequila you had better watch out. It tastes so great that you cant help but have another and another and another….and the next thing you know you end up talking about evolution and God and politics and all sorts of other things that are perhaps better left said when you sober.

A few of my friends I havent seen in a while and were quite shocked that I had put my boxing gloves up and was no longer beating people up in my spare time. Well this led to an awkward situation where I had to show a couple of men my triangle choking skills…well it didn’t fair too well.

Let me make it clear that I was not out to hurt anyone and I only tried this on willing participants. I also made sure to explain that if at any time they felt they wanted to get out of it to just ”Tap Out”.

I will also mention this is a very bad idea when too many shots have been going around.

The first man for a spin was a personal trainer friend of mine.  I did the lock and as everyone watched I applied some pressure. Well, instead of tpping me on the arm, he attempted to tap me on my leg, instead of my arm, which I was completely oblivious to. So it was up to the spectators to jump in and let me know the guy wanted out. Well it was close as he almost passed out.

The other spectators were all wary of me now and chose not to volunteer, except for Wes, who bravely came forward as the next victim. Well Wes took it very well, so well in fact that the passed out, and no he did not tap out, not even when everyone watching cried for himo do so. I had a snooze for a couple of seconds before he “woke up” again. Needless to say I chose not to choke anyone else that evening.

Ther was a woman there with the most awesome tattoo’s…which has me itching for another…so watch this space!

There was a casualty as well, when one of the ladiestried to help one of he guys from falling over, where she ended up falling and cutting her chin open. It was off to the hospital and five stitches later she came back a little high from the anaestethic they gave her.

Other that that here was lots of dancing,great music, a smoke machine, disco lights, shooting some pool and lots of talk…an awesome party all in all…even for a Ginger called Duff ;).

All I can say is that I am slightly relieved the weekend is over so that my poor liver can recover, but then I realize that tomorrow evening is the Love Sucks event. and then I think about the comng weekend…and I realize that my liver hasevery excuse to go AWOL.

Bitch Please….

We are well into the new year and another weekend has gone by,a busy one at that, and that’s the way I like it.

Friday night my dancing feet got itchy so with my Irish friend Emma we headed off to no other place but to Nicci Beach. Euphonix was on the decks and the music was fantastic, nevermind the fact that the place was brimming with beautiful people. There was plenty of Jose Cuervo going around and then to top the evening off, my gal pal from the North, Ronel, joined us in shaking our booties.  How I do love this place, it is not often that I leave before closing, that’s me and the other few hundred people that were still there.

I was also called a Bitch that night, and contrary to polular belief I have no problem with being one. If being a bitch means I have standards and morals and I value my life then so be it. It might seem otherwise with my posts and I am the first to say that I take myself lightly and I indulge in a  little self deprication every now and then, but I take issue when others invade your personal space. You know the one’s that stand a little to close to you, or they grab your neck when they talk to you or very inappropriately place their hand on the small of your back? Especially when it has been clearly stated that you are not interested….wait did I look interested? No? So if you aren’t going to take the hint then I will so politely tell you to back the fuck off.

Besides it was girls night and all I wanted to do was dance to the rythme and beats of house music.

The next morning I woke up to  my alarm and very cleverly decided to dismiss it and not snooze it. The idea was to close my eyes for two seconds…well that two seconds turned into more than forty five minutes so it was a mad dash to get to work on time, which I did. Well there is nothing interesting about work, so after that I got my stuff together and headed of to the Minkster and the to my mother so that we could raid my late fathers stash of camping equipment.

You see, even though Oppi Koppi is a good seven and a little bit months in the future, we feel it imperative to get our acts together and make sure that the long weekend away, in the dust and the thorns and the bush, is going to be an awesome one. We even visited Outdoor Warehouse to check out cool and innovative camping goodies to take with, like the ever needed portable shower.

I then went to Mrs Allycat, for a little birthday shindig. It’s always great listening to good music with great company, sampling some treats and eating delicious pizza. Allison your tattoo is spectacluar! And I d ohope that you enjoyed your “19th” birthday

We then stopped at my god brothers birthday where the heavens had decided to open up…well it was great to see Elton and his beautiful fiance’ Adel, who hosted a fantastic birthday party, the only wish is that I was able to stay longer.

Sunday morning was pretty chilled, I got to test drive a VW Beetle, and I fell in love. They are really such awesome little cars. Us women also decided to wash our cars…and boy was a good clean for my car sorely needed.

A few things I learned from this weekend:

Never, ever drop your standards, you are worth it and you deserve the best.

To hate and hold grudges is to do yourself a disservice, don’t waste a precious moment of your time, hating yourself or someone, or holding a grudge, it will do you no good.

Love yourself, change the things you can, and accept the things you cannot. You can’t change the fact that everyday your body is growing older, but you are as young as your heart says you are. And there is one great thing about growing older, and that is growing wiser, not worrying about what people say about you or think about. That you can look in the mirror and see all your faults, the wrinkles, the blemished skin, the little bit of extra weight, the fact that your teeth arent perfectly straight, or your nose may not be as small and cute as you would like it to be….looking at all of these things and still being happy, still loving that person, knowing that person is doing the best they can.

Savour and treasure the memories you have and make new one’s, it’s never too late to start a bucket list, you can always meet new people and you can always have fun. Never close your heart to anything. Be cautious but not too cautious. Live every moment and don’t sweat the small stuff…

And one last tHing I have confirmed….come hell or high water I am soooooooo at H2o Avicii come the 31st of March.

Rocketeering, Gangsta’s, and a Birthday…

So…I didn’t end up at the coast. After an emotional evening it was decided I would remain in Jozi…Woohoo!

It been a pretty eventful time since deciding to stay up here and all of it good…no…awesome.

Friday the 16th was my sisters birthday, so we had a good old fashioned piss up…you know…the one where you start dancing and singing along to Bon Jovi…there was also a little bit of karaoke but I do believe that I broke the machine or a few eardrums…I can’t be too sure which. It was a great time, a bit wild, but with a few Scots in the mix, it always tends to get a little bit crazy.I was also almost involved in a cage fight with my god brother…but I decided to save him the embarassment of having his ass kicked by a girl.

Saturday I was invited to witness Schalk and Jaco’s Rocketeering(to catch up on previous episodes you can check it out @    http://www.youtube.com/user/Groendakkies).

Put simply, they cook homemade rocket fuel, drink alot and then attempt to launch, up to this point the rocket has had performance problems, but really, the making of it is hysterical. And live it is so much better.

I think it has already been established that The Wild West has no brakes. And as always, this time was no different. A game of Kings got us nicely stukkend, especially when the ‘strafdop’ (penalty drink) is a mix of Sambuca and Tequila Jack. There were also other shooters but they were avoided like the plague(by me at least). The rest of the evening was mostly talking(of which I was mostly to blame…apparently I can talk ALOT).

Which reminds me of a famous quote…Silence is Golden, Duct tape is Silver…and I am sure that Jaco, Schalk and Marius would have loved to have used some duct tape to shut me up that night.

The next morning we were rudely awakened by the fact that Silent Bob’s wallet was missing. After an endless search for said wallet,i was eventuall recovered and Bob could smile again. Jaco prepped the rockets while his super enthusiastic partner, Schalk, did as little as possible….his ass was glued to the La Z Boy the entire morning. I found it difficult to get up myself. In fact it was difficult to do anything from lying still, sitting still, talking, not talking, eating, not eating…everything I did was a sad attempt…

After preparations we could leave and shoot some rockets. Let me tell you, you get some really weird and concerned looks from people when driving by with a rocket in your hand(can anyone say Terrorist much?). We went to a remote area give or take 10km from Roodepoort…but more on the give side…and boy was it a scorcher…why we actully needed to ingite the rockets is beyond me, that’s how hot it was.

Rocket number One was an explosive, and we were pretty lucky not to be hit by shrapnel(the closest piece must’ve been around 2m from where we were standing). The next rocket the men were able to “launch” 3 times. Once there was a little airtime for the rocket, the other two launches were more about making a “big boom”. I must say there is alot of fun in the ‘uncertainty’ of shooting homemade rockets. You feel young and somewhat reckless and obviously there is an element of danger. But please kids…do not try this at home…

Better luck next time boys.

As tired as I was I did not get lost whatsoever coming back from Roodepoort. So all in all a weekend without getting lost…HUGE SUCCESS!

Is it too gushy to say tha I’m loving life at the moment?

Well I am.

Flat Out…

Where do I start to describe the weekend?

Well, it didn’t come soon enough. Friday afternoons at work really are torture, especially when you are eager for the weekend to start. Minutes turn into hours and if we are all completely honest, how much work really gets done between 3 and 5pm on a Friday afternoon?

Eventually it was time to hit the road and for the weekend to begin. And what better way to begin by spending the evening in Roodepoort(well, maybe not so much for the city, but for the company there).

The challenge was to cook a meal for my boyfriend without blowing anything up or killing anyone, or, as is my forte, flooding the kitchen. Well I’m happy to say we both made it out alive, nothing flooded, no one died and nothing was blown up. I know, next time I’ll try be a little more careless…we know that makes for a much more entertaining blog. The rest of the evenings plans were pretty simple, a couple of UFC’s and a movie.

The plans were slightly diverted and we ended up watching the highlights of a few movies, such as the unforgettable fight scene between Neo and Mr Smith from the movie classic The Matrix. And then for a couple of laughs, Cheech and Chongs Up in Smoke, anyone looking for some Labrador?

All in all a very relaxed evening, especially when only one bottle of vodka was consumed by only two people(In hindsight it is perhaps never a very wise idea to try drink as much your boyfriend). It is only a miracle that I have not yet hugged a toilet in Roodepoort.

Restless Parent Syndrome is a bitch. We were both up before 6am with pounding heads…and a slight blank on how and when the bedroom curtains were shut?(after some deliberation it was decided that I had indeed shut the curtains when we decided to go to bed). A few headache tablets later and a couple of cups of coffee and I was almost functional again. Jaco made an awesome breakfast sandwich that I surely would have eaten with gusto on any other morning, but my stomach wanted to hear none of it , so it ended up being a few feeble bites.

And then there was serious business to attend to. I had to get my ass back to Boksburg in order to do some shopping.

Let me add here that for the first time, I did not get lost coming or going from the Wild West….but I may have picked up a traffic fine.

Back in Boksburg the Minx and I hit the stores with what energy we could muster ,as we were both suffering intense hangovers. Two malls and dozens of stores later(which, if I had listened to Minkster, could have been prevented) we eventually found the perfect outfits.

I word on clothing store dressing rooms: unless you are perfectly preportioned nothing will quite look fabulous on you when you try it on in a dressing room. More often than not harsh flourescent lighting is used and this is the worst type of lighting as it brings up every flaw you hve on your body. If you are unsure, buy the item of clothing and try it on at home and if it still looks crap, return it.

It was time to get a move on to Kempton Park(and yes, my shoes were off within the first five minutes of being there). And honestly, what is a weekend without the Goose getting lost. Yes, I got lost in Kempton Park, but it was minor. The worst part being we had to travel on a dirt road.

We really did enjoy ourselves kempton style, with no shoes, lying on blankets in the shade. And of course, all of us had hit it pretty hard thenght before so it took a couple of drinks for us all to regain our “personalities”. As the perfect host, Schalk delegated the braaing to his brother and the salads to the women(well, I can tell you, I have had just about enough domestication after this weekend). The food was awesome!

All too soon it was time to get ready and get our asses off to Nicci Beach. And we did so in style. There is nothing better than dancing the night away with great company, the overall crowd was also really cool. Schalk I will never forget your little moonwalk. Silent Bob(aka Marius) actually spoke and quite often. Minki, my dear, danced her her feet off. Jaco played cameraman well. And me, well I was in my happy place.

Sometimes a person just cannot describe an awesome evening and such is the case. But the big dogs definitely showed the Goose a thing or two.

To memories made.

Only One Way Out…………Flat Out!

Yes indeed, another week has seen it ass and the weekend is upon us. Not only that but it is exactly a month until Christmas and 37 days until the New Year.

Can I hear a Wooohooo!

With so little left of this year I urge you to go out and make the most of it while you still can. If you have had a miserable year, now is the time to turn it around and do something fantastic for yourself. It is your mindset that matters, make it worthwhile!

As for me, well plans have been laid out this weekend and I am ALMOST ashamed to say it is going to be one of complete and utter debauchery.

Tonight the goose will be cooking a meal in the Wild West. Yes, this blonde is going to be working in a kitchen. So if you perhaps see smoke on the western horizon this evening, it’s most likely that I’ve blown Roodepoort up. I’ve also asked Jaco to have an appetite, he will need it if he is going to have to eat a plate of my food. All that I am hoping for(other than stuffing dinner up) is not to get lost either way. But just in case, I filled my petrol tank(who knows when I might accidentally find myself in Bloemfontein).

Tomorrow is the Big One…a dear friend, Schalk, is celebrating his birthday and I have been warned to bring my “A game”(And I know he means business as his “breakfast” this morning was a shot of Tequila, Jagermeister and Red Bull). Yes he plans to make a party out of the entire weekend(No,one day isnt good enough for the Shalkinator, he has to rip the ring out of the WHOLE weekend!)

Well my first priority is to make sure I survive The West, and if I do my partner in crime(the one and only Minkster) and I are planning some serious shopping. Tomorrow the Malls should be afraid, very afraid…no…DEATHLY afraid!

I’m only hoping that I do not get lost in, dare I say it….Kempton Park(you know, that town where you have to check in your shoes before entering). But I have Minx to help me navigate.

And seeing as the party is starting in Kempton it can only mean downhill from there.

Guys and girls I can only hope I make it out of this Weekend in one piece. And with that said, there is only one thing left to say:

“Hasta La Vista, Baby!”