Where I where do I begin?
It’s Sunday evening and I am exhausted….and as much as I’d like to blame it on boozing and too much partying….for a change it isn’t!
Well…..that is sort of true.
Let’s begin with Friday evening when I gingerly agreed to go a an alternative/metal night club for a Sex Party…..yes….you read correctly….but give me a moment to explain.
Once a year the Black Dahlia has an event called a Sex Party, which boils down to strippers and topless waitresses….now there were a few other things that were promised but not quite delivered but we’ll stop there.
On arriving at the venue we weren’t too surprised to find that the power was out. The entire block was in fact out….and the club did not have a generator…so we sat in candlelit darkness waiting to see if the power would come back on…..during this time it was established by one vegetarian and a tappet that my running skills resemble that of a penguins….never mind the fact that I was trying to run in heels and a very short denim dress.
After a drink or two we gave up Dahlia and went to another pub/club in the area…but not without taking the dentally challenged DJ’s number so that we could ascertain when and if the strippers were still going to make an appearance.
Off to fruit and veg where we got complimentary tequilas(and you know the night goes downhill from here don’t you?). After a short stay there we made our way back to Dahlia so as not to miss the show! We got there and the place was pumping with a whole 30 randy guys and about for brave women(including myself).
Stripper Number One pissed me off to no end….she may not have had a pretty face but a body to die for…and a suppleness only months of working on a pole could create. The conclusion was that some men still don’t know how to undo bra straps and the removal of an article of clothing is far more entertaining than the nudity itself.
In between dancers a topless waitress was dishing out body shots….and by this I mean using her boobies to hold a shot glass while a customer downed the drink….entertaining much?
The second act was only really memorable for the hot candle wax that was used in places where I cringe to recall…..I’d best try to erase certain images from my mind completely.
Afterward a trip to Cool Runnings for a jol with the usual crowd…..hehehehe….where it seems I am far more fit to be a bouncer lady than a waitress if ever I decided to work at my local.
On our way home the Vegetarian was adamant on finding cheese….so off we went in the golden spaceship in search of….only to realize that the only cheese you’ll find at a 24 hour store is processed sliced cheese.
Getting home the Tappet made us toasted sandwiches, where somewhere in between, he cut his finger, I still can’t recall him letting us know about this mishap.
Off to bed and up way too early Saturday morning where I virtually had to resurrect myself from death to get my babalas butt off to Netball, of all things, on a Saturday morning.
It was an awesome experience getting the juices flowing and I found that I have quite the competitive spirit in me. Due to this I was set up to goal defence against a male tri-athlete bigger than I. I don’t think I have had the misfortune of running so much in my life before.
It was super duper lekker fun!
Afterward the Addicted 2 Adventure crowd had a chilled braai around a fire with the men taking turns at the guitar playing songs ranging from Koos Kombuis to Joe Cocker and Kid Rock. It was superb evening…..
I was described in such a manner that scared me a little.
One of the A2A gents, by the name of Bubbles, said that I was The Hangover Part Three.
By this he meant that if anyone went out with me they would never come back the same, if ever.
I knew I was a little crazy…..a bit out there…and a part of me was wild……but all I can think is this:
“How the Hell can I actually be Crazier and more Dangerous than the Asian Guy, Leslie Chow?”
You know the one…..the little bastard that jumps out of cars and ice machines half naked?
Apparently who needs a Roofie when they have me!
Mothers day was pretty cool too….got an awesome all over body massage(and you with the sick mind…yes you…stop it!)….from a great boyfriend. Got to debate around a fire with my brother and got to have an awesome lunch with my family.
Other than the phenomenal stiffness I am still feeling ALL OVER my body…..a great weekend all in all.
Ms Exotic Mother Queen Goose Chow.