The Gooses Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse Part Four

So…you almost thought for a second there that I was Zombie fodder…well if you were paying any attention to my first installments you’ll realize we are far from being prepared for the apocalypse.

Let’s talk Guns and Weapons….my favourite subject.

Yes, you want an arsenal of weapons….you need to remember that come Z-Day you want to already have all your weapons on hand….this is to avoid the looting scenario…you know…when everyone realizes its the end of the world and they ALL rush off to the local gun shop to get their weapons only to realize the local gun owner has gone bossies and is using hand grenades to deter anyone coming within 500 yards of his door.

Note: some of you are thinking let’s become a gun shop owner…therefore plenty weapons at your disposal…well have you not just read the above? These poor guys are going to be mobbed and most likely killed within the first 24 hours of the first Zombie reports either in the paper or on the news.

So you want to be buying your weaponry well in advance…hell…you are going to be the local gun store owner very happy(little does he know his awesome sales now will not help his lifestyle whatsoever as he will be coming to an abrupt end not too far in the future!

It would also do you a lot of good to contact some illegal weapons dealers so you can get your hands on some military grade hard core guns and ammo.

Now…before we go into detail about exactly which weapons to use….because there are so many awesome guns out there…let’s look for inspiration.

Strangely enough…Zombie movies only really promote two weapons……namely the shotgun and the machete. No one will deny that these two weapons are a must to have in your weapons cache( and multiples at that…at least 10 shotguns and 10 machetes with enough ammo to bring down a horde of flesh eating Zombies!

So…back to some Gunspiration.

First and foremost….Terminator 1, 2 and 3….specifically number 3 where Sarah Connors casket does not in fact contain her body but awesomely is a weapons cache of note….my favourite….the Bazooka…and if you don’t know what that is…please do yourself a favour and kill yourself now(you are not worthy of seeing the apocalypse LOSER!)

Again these movies demonstrate the importance of a shotgun…hell if a few rounds from a shotgun can slow down a terminator cyborg from the future where the machines are in control….well then you know a shotgun will totally ruin a zombies day.

Next up…and yes my movie inspiration has dried up completely at this point…we now need to introduce the man and legend of guns and weapons use…this guy is so totally awesome that he knew that to be successful in his endeavour as the expert in all things related to weapons he would have to change his name and adopt a Russian accent…..some say he is even russian spy…he is no other than…..

Dmitri from the FPS Russia

Even Dmitri knows the importance of Z-Day preparedness and has a host of You tube clips dedicated to teaching us how and where to and what weapons to use in the event of a zombie invasion.

This guy is not cool…he transcended cool many ages ago…when he showed us how to use a flamethrower properly, how tracers work(uber fokken cool) and how to use explosive rounds( all important when blowing zombie scum into smithereens- don’t you just love that word? SMITHEREENS!)

Next up in the series we will go over exactly what weapons are needed for the Zombie Apocalypse.

And for those of you that got this far….add your suggestions….as I said in the previous installment….the internet is a safe connection to others before the end of our world to Zombie scum.

Have nice Day