Ching Chong Bliksem!

Okay Okay…its been more than a week since I have posted and I feel absolutely and utterly not so guilty.

I’ve started a new job and no longer working for my ex husband, this means I actually have to work and there is no time to loaf, never mind blog. And the computer I had belonged to my ex, and he took it back, so I am now using that ever so useful blackberry to blog while I am having my hair done.

Yes, I’m being pampered a little and trying something new….let’s see how it comes out….

Life has been pretty busy…no one can explain how wonderful it is not to have to see my ex everyday anymore. I feel that I have finally been freed from my past in every way possible. Which leaves the future wide open.

New job is awesome, new challenges, good income and a potential to grow. I’m getting used to having to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6am every morning…and peak hour traffic….not that bad…I don’t know what the fuss is about really…I mean…what’s the rush…unless of course you have commitments, like picking the kids up, etc.

The social life is also a bit haywire at the moment…hell I’m not complaining…but my liver is taking a beating! I love the fact that I am meeting so many new people and from different walks of life….our world is so big…I want to get to know as many people I can!

I have to recommend the movie “Warrior”, if you haven’t seen it yet …… DO IT!
You will not be disappointed…and that includes the ladies….my sister is no fan of MMA but was crying along with me by the time the end credits came up.
Sterling performances to every cast member…but Tom Hardy takes the cake…and with a body like his….all I can say is DROOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!

That’s me for Now……Just also wanna say I have the most Awesomest Friends and Family….thanks for being there for me Xxxxxxxxx

This Little Light of Mine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

The Gooses Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse Part Three

Hey guys and girls…welcome to the next part in my Z Day Survival Series. If you haven’t already read the first four parts…get your ass moving…your life depends on it…the end is nigh and the unprepared shall…you know…die(or turn into zombies or both!).

Part One

Part Two Chapter One

Part Two Chapter Two

Today I want to discuss the issue of companionship before, during and after Z Day. Do you want to be surrounded by friends and family or by a bunch of hillbilly hardasses(the right answer here is a bunch of hillbilly hardasses by the way.)

Companionship

Before the fateful day comes a knocking it is highly recommended that you remain a loner, you avoid friends and family and most of the general populace,we do not want emotional ties before Z Day. Your priority is to survive the first few weeks of the apocalypse, this mean laying low and holing up in your hideout and the less people you care about ad vice versa the more likely you are to survive(you wont have the burning need to go out and find lost family members or save the love of your life from certain death and you wont have hordes of people knocking on your door knowing that you were the most prepared for the inevitable when they laughed at you while you were stockpiling).

The above does not apply to your internet family…and I am not implying your facebook friends or your twitter followers…I am talking about the ”believers”, yes, we are out there and there are many groups. Now you want to be a part   of these   groups, because they will be as prepared as you are for Z Day. This group will most likely be your best chance of sanity during the apocalypse whilst the internet is up and running. And once the dust has settled you will need to converge with one another to begin a new world order.

During the upheaval of the apocalypse up the    post apocalypse(when everyone that can be infected has been infected and all the initial destruction and mayhem have taken place) you are going to be pretty lonely. Afterall we want zero physical contact with anyone at this time. You must be hidden from the world if you are going to survive it. For this I suggest alot meditational practice and then of course alot of books…preferably survival guides(you can never learn too much!) and then some Stephen King and Dean Koontz novels(just because they are my favourite authors). You can also concentrate on exercise and getting buff…you want to be a lean mean killing machine, remember?)

Post Apocalypse survival methods vary, if you have a solid home base to live in, do so for as long as possible, if in the event that your home has been compromised(you have the neighbourhoods zombies at your door or someone has found you), it is best for you to move on. It is always wise to travel alone, you areless conspicuous this way. If you have a “friend” make sure that they are not female or children, the liklihood of them surviving over you is huge(watch any horror movie…the kid almost never dies due to the fact that the hero would rather sacrifice themselves before letting an “innocent” die.) You also dont want a sneaky looking quiet guy either….these people will betray you the first second they get…they deem themselves and their lives far more important than yours.

As I said you want the hillbilly type on your side,other than the fact thatthey can be pretty loud and annoying, they are usually very paranoid, so armed and prepared forsuch events as Z Day and they will have an armory of weapons stashed in their bombshelter somewhere in the sticks. They also love killing things(even squirrels unfortunately and they will go beserk on a zombie within range, which means you save on bullets and the risk of infection. They are also very hard to emotionally connect to, so if and when they are infected you will not think twice before putting a bullet through their brains.

The other type of person is the type like you, the ones you spoke to on your internet groups, they will be carbon copies of you. Dont know how to recognise thisperson…well think of Columbus from Zombieland…

Looks can be decieving...this guy is actually a Zombinator of note!

Gareth Cliff Said It

“As long as you’re alive, you can always run, jump, fight, fuck, wheel a barrow or drive a truck.”

No Regrets

There are times in my life that I’d love to go back to, times that I would like to go back to my younger self and tell her it is going to be okay, that the pain is going to make me stronger, that it will add to my character, to make me a better person.
There are also times where I have wished that I could go back and right some wrongs, and make different choices. Not that I regret the choices that I have made, but I do think I may have been too cautious, that there are in fact walls, walls that are a lot higher than I thought…I’d even go so far as to say that I add to those walls every day…..there aren’t a lot of people that I trust and I am damn scared of getting hurt and being hurt. But it happens and its a part of life. And we. Have to move forward.
The hurts that scare me the most?
The unavoidable ones.
I’d always been a daddies girl. He was a pretty quiet guy, he wasn’t perfect, but he was a good person. He’d also been pretty healthy and health conscious, other than the fact that he smoked and had a few drinks now and then.
In the end of 2007 he began having health issues and in a few short months was misdiagnosed repeatedly until he was booked into hospital with severe joint pain. In not even two days we had our first major scare, when they diagnosed cancer(after extensive testing) and on the 7th of April 2008 suffered multiple pulmonary embolisms(blood clots to the lungs), of which he was very lucky to survive according to a cardiologist.
He was in and out of hospitals for the next few weeks, either for testing or for transfusions or blood tests and for treatment plans for the cancer which had metastized throughout his body(Non Hodgkin’s B Cell Lymphoma a very rapid spreading cancer as it travels via the lymph through the body).
The evening before he died I remember visiting him and treating him to a foot massage. I also had a bit of a motivational talk with him about him beating the cancer.
The following morning, 26 April 2008, he passed away in his bed in front of my mother, my brother and paramedics.
I had been called by my mother earlier that morning to say that she was getting my dad back to the hospital as he was taking another turn for the worse. I was on my way to work with my ex, and instead of going through to see him, I told her that I would go to hospital after work to see him.
An hour later I got the call from my mother telling me to get myself to his place as soon as. But it was already done. My father had passed.
When I arrived, we waited until the paramedics came out and gave us the official news. I was with my little sister in the car at the time and all I had to see was my mother and brothers body language.
It was nothing short of devastating. And for a moment I cracked. My world shattered. But I had to piece it back together again immediately.
I was 6 months pregnant at the time. And as much as I wanted to give into the darkness I had to pull myself together and look after the child that was growing inside of me. It was probably the hardest thing to do. I had been smoking 8 cigarettes a day while pregnant, but the week after and leading to his funeral that number went to a staggering 40 a day. Something I am ashamed of but the only way I could emotionally cope. I couldn’t drink myself away as I might’ve done otherwise. The pain was raw wound that never really healed until long after I had had my daughter, when every now and then I could give into a grief that I hadn’t been able to express.
I still do wish that I had hugged him a little tighter, stayed a little longer, spoken to him more often, visited more and told him I loved him. I sometimes wonder if it would’ve made a difference going that morning when my mother first called.
But I believe that when a person dies and how that person dies is not an accident.
There is nothing anything of us can do to prevent death. and there is nothing we can do to change the past.
The best we can do is do our best now, to make our lives worth it…to make theirs worth it.

 

Move along…Nothing to See Here

Here is my Friday rant for you…let’s see if you can keep up.

I believe I am a person with morals, now we all have our own sets of morals and what we can and cannot live with. I don’t think it is reall fair to judge people that you haven’t met, and I will be the first to admit that I do this very thing on a very regular basis. We judge people by how they look, what they wear and what they listen to. We judge people for how they behave and what they do and even their interactions with others.

None of us are immune to this, none of us, and to say that we do not is a lie. We are constantly assessing and evaluating people, our friendships and relationships and this I think is something that is an instinct and a part of our genetic make up. And I believe it is only something we can “consciously” deal with, modifying our behaviours to be more accepting and less judgemental.

So first things first….don’t judge me by how I look or what I wear. I have earned my dues, I have worked my ass off to look the way I do now. I may not be pretty in the traditional sense but I make the best of what I have been given, and if I can give myself a little more by plastic surgery then that is my choice…I am my own artwork, I am my own sculptor. If you dont like me you dont have to like me.

I cannot afford labels such as Guess, Billabong, Ecko, Gucci, etc. So I don’t buy them. But if I could, you can bet your sweet ass I will buy the labels. Hell, I drive a Hyundai i10, but if I could afford to buy a Maserati then there is no question what I would be driving right?

I don’t think ther is anything wrong with the pursuit of physical perfection…we all want to be healthier, skinnier and more muscular. Yes, there are limits and there are extremes(bulimia, anorexia, etc), but I am talking about a healthy view for improvement.

Much trickier, and going back to morals, is trying not to judge someone for their behaviour, their actions and the things they say and do. This I find particularly tough. We are all so different and unique, with our own sets backgrounds and upbringings, and we need to realize tht all of our actions are results of our past. This brings me to a quotation that I do love, becuase often we do only judge people by their actions and their mistakes and sometimes these behaviours have very little to do with who these people are.

“Unforgiveness is allowing someone else to live in your mind rent free”  

Hatred, regret, unforgiveness and grudges don’t do a damn thing at all to the person the anger is aimed at. But it festers within you and eats at you. It will only harm you and no one else.

Forgiving someone is not about condoning the persons actions, but it is releasing that pain from your mind and your heart. In the end the only persons forgiveness that you need is your own. As for the other person, well, you can choose not to be a part of their lives anymore or you can choose to work things out.

And this is where I come to my rant…now I know it’s happened to quite a few of us, and it has happened to me a few times…but this week I have been judged, judged for being me, from a person I don’t even know. Now, I know exactly why they’ve made the judgement and I can actually see their point of view, but I am surprised that I come across that way.

I have friends, both male and female. I make jokes, I’m sarcastic, I’m goofy and a little insane. I can be a bit crass and sometimes downright filthy mouthed, I speak my mind, and I do flirt but I think I am also polite and I believe there are boundaries and I respect those boundaries.

What gets to me is that I have people who speak to and flirt with me….not in a “I want to fuck you way” but in a “I like talking to you way”. Well, that is the way I see it at least. I will never cross the line with a person who is involved or married. I will talk to them sure, because this world is about meeting new people and making friends, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with talk(and I dont mean dirty talk), but that is where it ends.

Even now I am racking my brains to see if I have in actual fact crossed these lines?

Like I said, we all come with our own morals and behaviours, and who are we to judge when nothing has been done. I don’t know, it is up in the air.

I guess it depends on whether you can trust someone or not. And this is what is most important. We need to trust those we hold close to us. And if we don’t those relationships are bound to be doomed. We need to let go and give each other the benefit of the doubt. And even after we have been hurt, we need to forgive and we need to be less judgemental.

This is not t benefit the other person, but to benefit yourself.

To live with yourself, right down to it, you are the only person in your life that will ever fuck you over.

Live a genuine life…whether that means labels or hand me downs…treat others as you would like to be treated…be gentle…be compassionate…take a little time to see the peson before you look at the actions.

Have an awesome one….and remember…be enthusiastic and give it 100%

 

 

 

 

The Gooses Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse Part Two Chapter Two

So far in my series we have discussed the following:

Moving to a Third World Country and Working from Home

Cashing In Your Policies and Food Stockpiling

In this installment we continue with what you need before the Zombie Apocalypse strikes

5. Apocalypse Clothing

So you don’t think it matters what you are wearing during and post apocalypse…well think again.

In the event that you are not at home when the apocalypse strikes(idiot), you will not want to be wearing stiletto heels or sporting hair any longer than bald.

What NOT TO WEAR come Zombie Apocalypse

The reasons here are pretty simple. A zombie might not be able to run fast, but they have strength in numbers and the uncanny way of popping up in unexpected places, ready to make you a happy meal…the last thing you want is to trip over your heels or get grabbed by the hair or any loose clothing, dragged down and being eaten. Remember, only one scratch or bite and you are officially zombie toast.

Hippies will be the First to Go

So do yourself a favour, buy yourself some trimmers and keep your hair cropped short, preferably bald. Sorry ladies but the Zombie masses do not care what you look like, they want to eat you. Please also shave your heads. This is crucial to your survival as a woman as you already have a disadvantage(and before you feminists give me grief…look up all your horror movie/action movie female survivors and badass chicks…most are androgynous, athletic and a little “hard”, ie Sigourney Weaver(Alien franchise), Jamie Lee Curtis(Halloween), Milla Jovovich(Resident Evil), Linda Hamilton(Terminator) and the list goes on.

The Zombies Have Officially Kaked Themselves

So women…do me a favour, instead of having your nails done(because zombies dont care about that either) go learn how to shoot a gun.

You wanna become a lean, mean, zombie killing machine…with th apporpriate attire.

Buy yourself more than a few sets of trainers and close fitting clothing, go to your local sport store and stock up, remember to buy neutral colours as zombies can see you and you don’t want to be caught out because you couldn’t resist buying that neon pink leotard.

Please don’t get complacent here, you may look like a tool before the apocalypse, but you will be the one laughing when Z Day comes.

6. Exercise

And lots of it. I am talking about a home gym that will have you running, cycling and doing resistance training. You want to be fitter than a triathlete competing in the Olympics. The aim is to be able to go long distances without stopping. You need to be fit, especially when it come to zombies. Like I said they are slow but persistant and will not stop so you need to outrun and outlast the buggers.

Fat Boys finish Last...as portayed in Zombieland

Exercise also helps to alleviate boredom(something that will be inevitable post Z Day), so it will help while away the hours post apocalypse when there will be no TV for you to watch.

Stay Tuned for our next chapter…