They say there is a lesson to be learned from everything we experience in life, from burning our hands on a stove, to divorce, to trying out sushi. Most of these lessons are pretty simple, a do or don’t answer would usually apply. As in: Don’t touch a stove while it’s on, its frikkin hot and it’ll burn.
Now most of these lessons are easily learned, others not so much, from drinking, smoking and eating bad foods, and then emotional and intellectual matters. I’ve done alot of reading on this subject, and I am far from an expert. In fact, I think I’ve done myself a disservice by reading too much about all this “new age and “self help” crap. Because, when it comes right down to it, you feel guilty for wallowing in your self pity, you feel guilty for lashing out, you just plain feel guilty because you should “know better”.
For me life is about putting one foot in front of the other and soldiering on. If you stop, your past will come bite you in the ass big time. But more so you have to look for the lessons in your experiences so that you aren’t doomed to make the same mistakes again. Did you trust too little, did you trust too much, did you judge your friends to harshly or did you let them walk all over you. Did you stand up for yourself or did you compromise yourself completely.
The lessons here are not what we expect, and they are much harder to learn or even grasp. If someone lies to us, do we mistrust those we come across in the future, if our hearts are mishandled do we ever give it out again?
I think not. I may be young, and I may still have to experience much in this world and perhaps one day I will be just as disillusioned as most of us are, once I have experienced more pain. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with opening up to others. It is undoubtedly a risk we take. Once we open those gates, they are very difficult to close again. And once someone is inside, it just about takes an acid wash to the heart to purge them from your system. Some people open those gates too quickly, some not at all. Some do brief background checks and others have border control. And rightly they do.
The shitty thing is that the only way ever to make sure you never have to deal with pain caused by someone else….well get aboard that spacecraft, check yourself into a looney bin or become the crazy cat lady down the street. Because the less people you know, the less friends you have, the less likely you are to be hurt. Because right down to it…EVERYONE YOU EVER KNOW WILL HURT YOU IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER. From your family, to your friends, to your work colleagues to your lovers. Given enough time the person you love the most will destroy you. They will eat you up and spit you out, the craziest thing is you will most likely do the same to them.
Life is about hurt and hurting, it’s about letting go, its about discovery and risks and experiences. God did not put us here to live singular lives. We are all here together to learn from one another. It’s about looking forward and not back, because you cant do shit about the past.
We all do what we think is right for us at the time.
My mother said something to me last Friday that has really struck home for me the few days:
“Whatever happens, just ride the wave.”
Don’t sit on the beach looking out to the ocean hoping something will come ashore for you. Dive in, get your surfboard, get wet, get salt water in your eyes and ride those damn waves, be they little ones or monster tsunami’s, bring back to the shore what you find out there. Life will not wait for you and it will not hold your hand. Dont ask for or settle for second best.
And most of all…know that you aren’t the only one out there seeking this, all of us are. From the friend that betrayed you, to the family member that mistreated you, to the boyfriend that dumped you. We are all looking for 100% and we all want this for each other deep down inside. It’s about recognising this, knowing that we can’t give each other 100%, we can only give ourselves 100%. And once we’ve learned this, we can treat each other and ourselves more kindly.
It’s Friday people, rock on, have an awesome weekend, and have fun. Give it Carrots!