…at least for 2011 that is.
Yes, I went out, I had a couple too many and I have a hangover. But it is the season to be jolly and so I am making the most of it…sort of. I wasnt in the best of moods. And if I havent already mentioned it. I miss my daughter something terrible. This is the longest by far I have ever gone without seeing her and it is almost killing me. If it werent for her sweet voice over the phone everyday I am sure her prolonged absense would have killed me.
This will also most likely be my last post….
…come now, for this year I mean.
So let me reflect, not too much but a little bit.
By far an Awesome year. By far one of the best years so far in my life. Yes there were tough times, but honestly, this year was a renewal. I found out who I was(and learning more about me everyday). I am enjoying life, and by golly, if that means that sometimes I drink a little bit in excess and get into a spot of trouble here and there, then so be it.
I’d like to think I am a good mother. I’d like to think that I am doing my best. And there may be people who disagree with me, there may be people who want nothing to do with me for it, or look down upon me for my ways. We aren’t perfect and we can only do the best that we can with the knowledge we have.
For the first time in my life I have had to budget, really think about and plan for the future. I have had months where I have literally scraped by, and months where I was able to spoil myself and my daughter a little.
2011 has been the year of friends for me. I have made many on my adventures, from ABC with Roshni and the girls at 5am in the morning 5 days a week in winter. To The Dogg Boxe gym where I learned some MMA and Kickboxing to the pubs and clubs of Boksburg and Benoni.
To the friends that have been there for me, thank you…you mean the world to me!
An incredible year of reconnections, with family and with friends I have not seen since high school.To my mother and sister that welcomed me back with open arms after I shut them out from my life.
To my Minki…dudette…you have helped me overcome so much this year…without you how would I know what the steps of going through a break up/divorce were?
To Jaco…your optimism and enthusiasm is infectious and your never say die attitude is what I admire most about you. I’ve learned from you that if you are going to do something you need to put yourself 100% behind it…I’m still learning…but I think I am getting there.
Schalk…Mr Tang…really….where and who would the Goose be if you had not named her? You taught me that you can in fact have a full blown conversation consisting only of sarcasm and get away with it….dont worry I won’t get mushy dude…I dont want to tarnish your Street Cred
To the friends I have met online/or whom I communicate with online. Sez for encouraging me to start the blog. Ski for for showing me no matter how dire your situation you can always smile. To Gaza, my agony uncle, for telling me just how paranoid I am being, which is far too often, and telling me to get the fuck back down to earth. To the facebookers that have liked my sometimes really kak statuses and to my blog followers…for actually being interested in this sometimes not well persons life and taking the time to read through what I have to write.
To Sam…although we only see each other every now and then…your advice was invaluable to me, even while doing Burpees and push ups and for the love of God running. We still need to go for that glass of wine.
Charisse…for putting up with all of my shit…the good, the bad and the ugly…for not judging me, for not kicking me in the ass AND for kicking me in the ass at the appropirate times.
To Emma…for taking this crazy little fledgling on her first couple of jols after moving away from her ex. I dont know how you put up with me.
To Tamzin and Revell for being my “Escape”…for all the crazy stuff that happens in Springs!
Dear Lord…this is starting to sound like an Oscar Winner Speech…way too mushy and way too long!
And fuck yes I am crying…because as uncool and cliche as it sounds this year I did win…I have the most wonderful, beautiful daughter. A supportive loving family. A great boyfriend and awesome friends. And if that isn’t winning then I am really cooked.
I know I havent mentioned everybody….hell there are too many of you to mention…but if I have met you, you have touched my life and made it that little bit brighter.
I can’t think of a better way to end my last post of the year with the below quote:
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
P.S. I know my grammar isnt 100% in this one but Im far too emotional to give a shit.